I don't know. I really don't.

Lots of stuff happened. I'm only going to talk about recent history.
In college, among people, and when watching shows or playing games or watching cutscenes, I've been acting more like a human being, actually reacting and paying attention. I'm not sure why I didn't before, but I do now. That's all that matters. Although, it really gets to me when I'm playing, say, Rock Band, and miss a note when I feel like I shouldn't have. It usually results in me frantically trying to hit any other note to get back on track as fast as possible, which results in me missing more notes.
The only time that doesn't really happen is when I'm intensely focused on something. Like Llama's Expert Bass part. Still haven't 5-starred it, if that's any indication of how hard that song is. Speak of intensity, a friend of mine in an acting class performed an Invisible Theatre presentation in public. I missed it, but I can only imagine how emotionally intense it was, and how difficult it was to be in his position.
I want to be in a situation like that. I want to be in an intense, even to the point of painful, situation, and really be passionate and fight for it with all of my heart and will. I mean, that's sounding cheesier the more I write about it, but it's only the truth, and I stand by it. I'm going to do that at some point. I'm getting closer and closer to putting all of myself into something, and when I finally get there, it'll be the most intense, difficult, rewarding experience I could ask for.

I don't know if people really read these, or if people really care. I mean, I've got a handful of people watching me, but I don't know if they care how I'm doing one day. I'm not sure they were concerned that I was dead or something after reading that one cool bus story. They might have just been patiently waiting for me to upload some sort of epic project that's been in the works for two years. The truth is, I'm not. Nothing's happening with me writing-wise. I'm likely to write a lot of journals and that's about it. Maybe a short play, maybe a song or two, but less likely is a short story.
Reason being, I've sort of lost my passion for that. It was fun, it was really cool, but it's so hard to get a really good idea. It's even harder to do justice to a really good idea without being particularly close to literature at all. They're kind of faulty concerns, I know, but I have enough on my mind that I don't want to be concerned about being good at something I should do for fun.
Speaking of doing things for fun, I have plenty of things to do that with now. Borderlands, Rock Band 3 (with over 200 songs no less), all of the Half-Lifes, a guitar, a social life, and more. I can't keep track of all of these things. I probably will never get around to all of them. Fact of life, really. Time's not unlimited, and my interest for any given thing isn't going to be high enough to play it necessarily.

That's two sessions of just droning on about whatever comes to mind. I'm sure that's enough.
Enjoy the loosely constructed series of thoughts, but only if you're one of the few people on dA that actually read journals.
And especially only if you're watching me. If you aren't watching me, you aren't allowed to stalk me through journals. It's rude.